


A Win For the Gays

by Writeforyou921



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Asexual Character, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Related, Bisexual Character, Club for the gays, Dialogue Heavy, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin is fragile, I'm sorry but I'm in love with cliches, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), Multi, No Smut, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Pansexual Character, Polyamory, Unfortunately Bang Chan is straight tho, We Die Like Men, lee minho is a little shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24308977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writeforyou921/pseuds/Writeforyou921
Summary: "I'm sick of people I care about being pushed around!""Then you should start a club.""...Are you serious?!"A story in which the only way to survive is to stay together...aka your typical homophobic high school aualso posted on Wattpad under @writeforyou21
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> "It's not my victory, it's yours and yours and yours. If a gay can win that means there is hope..." 
> 
> \- Harvey Milk

**Minho's POV**

I've been sitting here for about 2 hours now and I swear I'm so close to offing myself. I find myself in the library with Ms. Oh for after school detention at least once a week, but that doesn't mean I'm used to how dreadfully boring it gets.

For the past 120 minutes the only thing I could hear was soft padded footsteps, hushed by the aging carpet, the shuffle of book pages being turned, the whisper of a pencil hitting paper, and the ungodly irritating sound of Chan snoring. I'm so close to flicking him in the face when Ms. Oh appears.

Thank fuck! I don't even give her a chance to speak, knowing full well that detention is over before I kick Chan's foot and exit the library. I'm walking down the main hallway when I hear quick footsteps rushing towards me.

"Why did you kick me, you ass!" He huffs behind me.

I finally make my way to the front doors of the school. I push through them and make a left in the direction of my house. I turn around to look at my friend and simply shrug my shoulders. He scoffs.

"You know you're gonna ruin my future if you keep getting into fights like this," he says to me.

"Stop butting into my business and everything will be fine." I retort back. 

"Look, you and Hyunjin are both my friends, ok? I didn't want to see either of you hurt. That's why I broke up the fight," he says apologetically. 

I don't have a valid comeback so I just remain quiet. Hyunjin. I always get into fights because of this kid. I've been trying to hold back recently, but he's not even trying to defend himself. I couldn't just sit there and let him suffer. 

_I'm walking through the hallways during lunch, trying my hardest to avoid any human contact as usual when I hear shouting._

_"Get your weak ass up you disgusting piece of shit."_

_It didn't take a genius to know who it might've been. The only people you could catch saying words like that out loud were jocks. Jeez, they are relentless. This was what, the fourth person that got beaten up the week? It's only Wednesday. I continue walking but I hear more screaming._

_"What the hell did I just say to you faggot, get up!"_

_See now, here is where I'm starting to lose my cool. I'm not saying I'm a bad person or anything, but I was fully prepared to walk away unbothered. But, I don't know. There's something about that second sentence that doesn't sit right with me._

_I now decide to beat up whoever was being a homophobic prick this time, until I see the body on the floor. I can tell from the long build and the long black hair that it's Hyunjin. Now I have to beat them up. Despite the fact that I've witnessed one of my best friends being bullied before, I hesitate and stare. I have no idea why. _

_For what feels like the longest time I just sit there watching. I watch as a short blonde kicks my dongsaeng in the stomach. I watch as blood drips down from his nose and into his mouth. I watch as Hyunjin does absolutely nothing to stop it. As I do so, I notice the look in his eyes._

_I regret it as soon as it happens. He isn't crying. I didn't see fear in his eyes like I normally did. It is obvious that he is in pain, he has to be, however, he somehow seems completely numb to the situation. If I have to be honest, that scares me. The five seconds I had used to process the scene were enough to make up my mind._

_I walk swiftly to who I now know can be no one other than the captain of the basketball team. I push Yoongi as hard as I can to the floor. While he's stunned, I try to coax Hyunjin of the floor._

_"Come on bud, you gotta get up."_

_I can start to see the pain in his face as he opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, Yoongi punches me in the face. He pulls his hand back to strike again but I make an x with my forearms to protect my head. I manage to grab his wrists and knee him in the side. I quickly scramble to my feet and pull him up, knocking him against the lockers by his shirt. With his head hanging down, he puts his hands on my arms. Despite his position, he has the audacity to smirk at me._

_I bang him up against the metal behind him. "You think this shit is funny?!"_

_Yoongi's smirk manages to turn into a full-on chuckle. He slowly picks his head up, stares me straight in the eyes, and spits in my face. I already see Yoongi's existence itself as a blatant form of disrespect towards me and the loogie dripping down my face is of no help. I throw him to the floor and kick him in the stomach again._

_This time though, I refuse to stop. A part of me wants to stay like this forever, knowing that I hold more power than the untouchable "Min Suga". My glory, however, is short-lived as someone tries to pull me away._

_"Minho! Stop, you're gonna hurt him!" Well no shit, that's the fucking point. I struggle to regain my position as strong arms pull me back by my shoulders. I try to shove them off, but suddenly a body separates me and the shithead on the floor._

_"Minho! Chan! Detention after school! Mr. Min, you are coming with me."_

_"But Principal Park!" Chan starts._

_He put a hand up as if to say "I don't want to hear it," and left with Yoongi, I turn to find Hyunjin and take him to the infirmary, but Chan grabs my shoulder stopping me._

_"You need to cool off," he says to me sternly. The ending bell for lunch then rings and students quickly begin to flood the hallways. The place where Hyunjin had laid was now empty with nothing but a blood smear left on the ground._

_"Go to class Minho," he says, softer this time. And with a distraught huff leaving my lips, that's exactly what I did._

Just thinking about it made me livid all over again. 

"Where are you going? Your house is right there," Chan calls after me. I was so busy thinking about the dumb shit that went down during lunch I didn't stop walking. It took me a second to realize I had walked passed my house. I turn around and walk towards my front door. 

"See you tomorrow Hyung," I say to him. Without waiting for a response, I open my front door and head straight up the stairs to my room. I throw my bag on the floor and flop on my bed. It's been a long ass day and I'm ready to go to sleep, but I think to text Hyunjin before I do. 

**Minho-hyung**

u ok kid? ur not doing anything reckless rn right??

_sent 6:47 PM_

I close my eyes, ready to drift off, when my phone buzzes.

**The Death of Me**

I'm fine hyung, I went to the nurse and she let me go

_sent 6:53 PM_

**Minho-hyung**

K. Stay with Bin. Don't go anywhere. I'm serious. 

_sent 6:55 PM_

**The Death of Me**

IKKKKKKK jeez

_sent 6:56_

I chuckle to myself as sleep approaches me.

🎉 🏆🎉


	2. TWO

**Hyunjin's POV**

"Babe, are you sure you're okay?" Changbin asks me for the one hundredth time today. I really wish he would quit asking me that. If he asks one more time I just might have to tell him the truth. My whole body feels as if it's on fire, I can feel my head pulsing, and I'm convinced that if I try to get up, I won't be able to keep my balance. But, because I am the stubborn person I am, I've just decided to sit here and suffer through the pain. 

"I'm fine Hyung. I promise," I lie to him. As I speak, his arms tighten a bit around my neck. I lay in his lap with his tiny body wrapped completely around me. His arms around my neck and his legs crossed in my lap. The position isn't as comfortable as it normally is, so I grab his hand and bring it up to my hair. 

We've been dating long enough for him to know what that means. He instantly starts running his hands through my hair, smoothing circles into my scalp. I can feel him burning holes into me with his eyes so I look up at him with a pout. 

"You aren't okay. You make me do this every time you're sad or in pain." I open my mouth to speak but he interrupts me. "And I'm willing to bet you're feeling both right now." 

Changbin is normally very good at reading me, but today he's a bit off. My problem is that I feel nothing. Physical pain, sure. A new type of pain that I've never experienced, but it always feels that way. It's the emotional pain that's missing. After a beat down like that, I'm usually crying for hours. But here I am, sitting in my boyfriend's arms, feeling absolutely nothing. I no longer have the energy to care. About anything really. 

It's almost like I'm a crumpled up piece of paper. I'm a little ton and I have a few marks, but in the end, I'm blank. I decide to stop thinking before I do feel something and stare up at the ceiling. 

Syddebkt Changbin's fingers stop running through my hair. Before I can whine about it, he is unfolding himself from my body. The pain is excruciating and I try my hardest not to make it noticeable, but a small wince manages to escape. 

Changbin crawls off his bed, puts his hands on his hips, and looks at me. His facial expression is not a happy one, but if he's not bouncing off the walls it's hard to tell how he truly feels. That's an art I've yet to master. His eyes look into mine as if expecting something. but what could he possibly want from me? 

"Do you think I'm stupid?" he asks, now quite obviously angered. My eyes grow wide in confusion and a bit of fear. Changbin very rarely gets mad at me, so what could I have done in the past five minutes for him to think he's stupid? 

"What?! No! What are you-" 

"Get up," he whispers. I'm too confused to do anything but comply. It takes me forever and it hurts like it's no one's business, but I push myself off of the bed into a standing position. As soon as I'm completely upright, I'm on the verge of falling. Changbin catches me as if he knew this was going to happen and puts my arm around my shoulders. 

"We're going to the hospital," he mumbles deeply. He starts walking with me and I now start to piece together the cause of his anger. He gently sets me down in the passenger's seat of the car, closes the door and heads to the driver's side. 

The entire drive is silent. This is definitely not helping me in any way right now. It's only been about 10 minutes, but I've gone from feeling nothing to being on the very of tears. The silence is allowing me to truly think about everything that has happened. And let's just say, I'm a person who is better off no thinking at all. 

We finally reach the emergency room and instead of sitting in the waiting area, Changbin walks with me to a room. "Wow. I guess this is the hospital his family owns," I say to myself. Once we reach the room, Changbin finds me a gown to change into. "Put this on, I'm gonna go find the doctor," he says. 

Once I'm done changing, Changbin walks in with someone I've seen a couple of times before. The doctor walks up to the bed and Changbin sits on a chair in the back of the room. "Hey Hyunjin," he says to me with a warm smile. Even in my position I find it hard not to smile back. "Hey Wooyoung, I didn't know you worked here." 

"Yup. Now Changbin told me what's going on and I don't think you are in danger of anything extremely serious but we should run some tests just to stay on the safe side." I'm realizing why Changbin picked Wooyoung. I hate hospitals and Wooyoung is one of the few people who can make me feel calm in one. 

"Can I talk to Changbin first?" I ask. Wooyoung opens his mouth to speak, but Changbin beat him to it. "After," is all he lets out. Wooyoung nods and offers me his hand. He helps me off the bed and I walk with him towards whatever scary machinery I'm going to have to endure.

🎉 🏆🎉

About 30 minutes later I'm back in the hospital bed. "I rushed it for you, but it's still gonna take a while for the results," Wooyoung says. "you can talk to Bin now." He turns around and quietly closes the door. 

"Are you gonna say something now?" I ask a tad annoyed. This is the longest he has ever gone without expressing such strong emotions to me. "I don't know why you are upset, but there was no reason to lash out at me like that." 

He looks at me, and his eyes are significantly softer than the last time I looked into them. "I know. I'm sorry," he says, sounding sad now. I don't know what I was expecting from him, but I don't think it was this. 

"I shouldn't have been so harsh with you. I was just angry." 

"But why?" I ask. He just stares at me and to be honest I'm getting kind of tired of him not responding. "I feel like you don't trust me," he murmurs. I open my mouth to speak, but think better of it and let him continue. 

"Did you think I didn't know? It's becoming exhausting having to pretend like I don't know you're beaten every week by that douche. It's the only thing the entire school talks about but I o on acting like I'm completely oblivious in the hopes that you'll just tell me." 

His voice sounds so pained and disappointed and it only makes me bring my head down in shame. This whole time I thought I would only be hurting him if I told him. I never thought that he would ve hurt if I didn't. 

"Don't think I'm unaware of what's going on in your head too. Minho tells me everything." Jeez I have to stop telling him stuff. 

"I can't let this slide Hyunjinnie. I refuse to keep going like this, you have to talk to me. OK?" 

He reaches his hand up to wipe my burning cheeks and only now do I realize I'm crying. After a few sniffles, Changbin slides his hand down to my neck. I let my hand meet his and I look into his eyes to see that he's crying too. I lean forward to kiss him, but the room door opens so we break apart. Wooyoung walks in with a smile. "Hate to interrupt boys, but I've got the results back." 


	3. THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chap is hella short, sorry babes

**Minho's POV**

**Chan-hyung**

Hyunjin said he's fine so you don't have to worry about him

_sent 2:42 PM_

**Minhoe**

What r u talking abt???

_sent 2:42 PM_

**Chan-hyung**

Hyunjin went to the hospital yesterday. Didn't Bin tell you?

_sent 2:44_

Of course he didn't fucking tell me. I had just assumed Hyunjin decided to skip the rest of the week like he always does. I jump out of my chair quickly and smack my hands on top of the desk. The teacher at the front of the room stops speaking. I march to the back of the room ignoring the dozens of pairs of eyes following me. I grab Chan by the collar and yank him out of his seat. Various gasps erupt from the class and I don't blame them. After all, it's not every day you see the class president get manhandled by someone smaller and younger than him. 

"A simple 'no' would've worked fine," Chan whines. I turn around, clenching my teeth and dragging Chan along behind me. The teacher resumes her teaching. It seems like she knows what's best for her. This is in no way the worst thing I've ever done and if she tries to reprimand me in any way it'll only be a waste of everyone's time. Despite the fact that I storm off right in front of her, Chan in my grasp, she pays very little attention. 

Once outside the room, I let my hyung go. "What happened to Hyunjin?" I growl. Chan huffs out of annoyance, fear, and maybe even a bit of pity. I can hear all of them in his voice, but I'm too angry to care. 

"He has a minor concussion and a couple of fractured ribs." I run my hands through my hair and take deep breaths, trying to self-soothe. It seems to be working for now. 

"You didn't think to tell me!?" I ask exasperated. Chan puts his hands up in defense. "Well you didn't ask about it and I assumed Bin would tell you first anyway." 

The fire that was momentarily settled in me was once again starting to ignite. Chan is so smart, but he can be so dumb at times. 

" _Why on Earth_ , would he do that after the _last time?"_ Chan's face holds a look of confusion for a second, trying to place which situation I involved myself in that could have made Changbin make such a choice. 

"Oh yeah!" The blonde claps his hands together as he remembers, then shakes his head in disappointment. "You could have hurt yourself. Or someone else in the room." 

"Well maybe he should've taken better safety precautions during chem labs," I say accusingly. 

For the countless time today, Chan rolls his eyes. "YOU DON'T EVEN TAKE CHEMISTRY! You walked into that guy's class, smacked a flask of acid out of his hands and left. Poor kid had to get under the safety shower and he went to the hospital," 

Poor kid my ass. If he didn't go tripping Hyunjin in the hallway, nothing would've happened to him. 

"It's not my fault he didn't have an apron on!" 

"Look. I just relayed Hyunjin's message because he asked me to. Don't do anything stupid and just go see HYunjin alright? I mean it." 

I take a deep breath and nod my head halfheartedly. To be honest, I'm not in the mood for revenge right now. I have to make are Hyunjin is alright first. 

Impulsiveness won't be my friend, so I try to listen to Chan for once and I take the rest of the day to calm myself. I try not to worry too much, but instead I think about Hyunjin more. At this point, everything reminds me of him. 

The ending of school finally came and I don't bother to talk to anyone before I leave. Chan, knowing my dumbass would be too angry to ask, already sent me the address. I went straight there without any hesitation. 

Once at the hospital, I went up to the front desk. "Where is Hwang Hyunjin, its important," I ask the woman in nurse scrubs. 

"I'm sorry. Mr. Hwang isn't taking any visitors right now," she says back to me with a smile. Why is she smiling while saying that?

"I'm his guardian." I know I'm not at the moment. Changbin probably signed himself in as guardian already but I figure it wouldn't hurt to try. 

"What is your name, sir?" she asks me. This takes me by surprise but I don't want to question. 

"Minho," I say quickly. "Lee Minho." 

It takes a couple of seconds for her to look through all of his patient information, but I can tell when she finds it because a rather disappointing look takes over her face. 

"You are on the list, but I'm sorry I still can't let you go in. I've been instructed to wait at least 48 hours before letting you see him. It's to reduce the stress of the patient." 

I sigh deeply. I'm too tired to make a scene right now, plus Changbin would beat me up for acting up at one of his family's hospitals. I could take his tiny ass, but I decide not to risk it. After all, Hyunjin did say he was okay. I've learned not to believe him when he says that, but it looks like I have no choice today. He should be good without me for two days, right? 

🎉 🏆🎉


	4. FOUR

**Hyunjin's POV**

I lie on my back staring up at the ceiling. I'm somewhat happy I've finally been granted some alone time. It's been two days since I got beaten up and the only people I've been allowed to see are Changbin and Wooyoung. I love them both, but when one looks at you with nothing but pity and the other is shoving meds in your face, life gets tiring rather fast. More than it already is. 

However, I think there might be a reason why Changbin hasn't left me to my own devices until now. I get pretty vulnerable. I get horrible mood swings and my mind goes places it shouldn't. I chuckle to myself as if that hasn't started happening already. 

Changbin took a trip home to wash up before I get discharged in a few hours and Minho is supposed to be here to watch over me. But of course, he isn't here yet. I need to stop being surprised when this happens, he's late to everything. Whatever, I need more time to think anyway. 

Suddenly the door quickly slides open and I already know who it is. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm late to everything I know." 

I shake my head as I let out an airy laugh. Sensing my judgment, he retorts back effortlessly. 

"I had to say goodbye to my cats, okay?" 

"You have serious problems Hyung." 

"Shut up, it's called a father's love. You'll understand when you have children." 

Knowing I'm unable to win such a strange battle, I put my hands up in defeat. 

He sits a small bag and some flowers down on the coffee table in front of the couch and walks over to my hospital bed. He waves his hand at me, motioning me to scoot over so he can sit. I slowly move and he sits down beside me. He merely looks at me and sighs, but I already know where his visit is headed. 

"You didn't go to the nurse did you?"

This is usually the first question. We both know the answer will be the same every time, yet the question never fails to be asked. 

"You know it would have been better if you went." Once again, like clockwork, the same response. It always starts out this way, like some script embedded into our heads. The resolution is sometimes different, but the beginning, the beginning never fails to stay the same. 

On any other day, I would have agreed. On any other day, I would have continued the charade as a means to keep my best friends occupied. but amongst all the thinking, I've decided I'm done. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure of what I'm done with. I just know that I can't continue living like this. 

"Hyung," I finally answer him. "I can't do this anymore."

He looks around the room in confusion. A strange smirk appears on his face and through it I can see how lost he is. I take a deep breath in and after a few seconds, I let it out. 

"I'm exhausted Hyung. Do you know how it feels to be afraid to breathe?" 

The awkward smile that decorates Minho's otherwise concerned face quickly disappears. His brow furrows as if he wants to say something, but I continue before he can even open his mouth. 

"It hurts. My body and my heart ache every single day because I can't just be left alone. It hurts more knowing that by trying to protect my boyfriend from it all, I'm only causing him pain too." 

I look down at my lap. My sweaty hands are shaking so uncontrollably it's starting to scare me. But I've already started and as much as I don't want to say the most important thing I've been thinking out loud, I have to.

"I think I should leave Changbin." 

Minho quickly stands up. 

"Well stop. Stop fucking thinking," he shouts. 

I jump at his unexpected outburst. He starts pacing the hospital room, dragging his hands down his face. 

"I remember not too long ago when you were saying how much you need him. How he was one of the best things that happened to you. How you finally understood what happiness meant...where did that go Hyunjin?"

I hate that he remembers that. Him saying it out loud doesn't help my situation either. Does he honestly think I didn't think about that? That I didn't want to be selfish and hold on to all the beautiful feelings and memories that Changbin has given me? It seems like no one understands me at this point and it's only adding to how drained I am. 

"He doesn't deserve the suffering I've put him through. It's just time to stop." 

He finally stops pacing and just stares at me. His eyes flicker around my face as if trying to find some weakness in my thought. Some doubt or hesitation. But it's not there. I know what I have to do. I refuse to be a burden any longer. 

"Give him time first. Or yourself. Time to change your mind. Time for him to catch on, I don't know just.....time. Being this rash isn't right." 

But time isn't something I have. I'm beyond tired of Minho's lack of comprehension at this point. I've been feeling this way for a while. If he doesn't want to see that fine. but absolutely nothing will change my mind. 

He must see the stubborn fire in my eyes for he merely sighs at me. He throws his hands in the air as if giving up. 

Despite his earlier tantrum I can tell my best friend has been holding back his anger. 

I turn over to my side as a way to officially end the conversation. Once again I lie there staring at the wall. After a while I assume Minho leaves because I hear the door close. 

I can do nothing but feel blank. My ever running thoughts have stopped. And once again I feel nothing.

🎉 🏆🎉

I had no intention of falling asleep, but I guess my physical exhaustion caught up with my mental exhaustion. I wake up to Changbin holding my hand. 

When he sees my eyes are fully open and can tell I'm aware he smiles at me. It reaches his eyes and it makes my heart flutter, but I try to ignore it. 

"Ready to go?" He asks me, his voice almost a whisper. I nod my head in response as I sit up. 

Not too long after, Wooyoung walks back into the room. He walks to my bed and brans the chart from the front of it. 

"By the looks of it Hyunjin your fracture isn't too bad, so you can return to school. Just be sure to get an excuse for passing periods and such so you don't accidentally bump anything and make it worse. Absolutely no strenuous activity. Try to keep waking to a minimum and no sports are allowed. Changbin signed all your discharge papers before coming in here so you're free to go whenever you like." He smiles at me, bows, and exits the room. 

Changbin effortlessly lifts me from my bed and into the wheelchair some nurses had prepared for me. He puts his hands on the handles and kisses my temple. 

"Let's go home babe," he whispers in my ear. 

"Yeah...let's go home." 

🎉 🏆🎉


	5. FIVE

**Minho's POV**

**Death of Me**

Hey, ik u got the work i missed

_sent 11:43 AM_

**Minho-hyung**

Maybe, what about it?

_sent 11:50 AM_

**Death of Me**

Can i have it, its due tmrw 

_sent 11:50 AM_

I smack my lips at the text. I see we are completely ignoring what happened yesterday. It's probably for the best though. The last time I saw Hyunjin I went off on him. Imagining what that might have done to his already screwed up head is only gonna make the guilt that that eats at me worse. I'll drop it for now, but how can he overthink one situation and completely undermine another?

A thousand responses run through my head but they'll probably just end us in the same spot as yesterday, so I push them aside. Both of s getting riled up right now isn't going to get me what I want. 

I let my phone slip through my fingers and onto the messy sheets beneath me. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, taking a few minutes to collect myself. He _just_ got out of the hospital, but he wants to go to school? Does he realize what fractured ribs means?

Not enough time passes before my phone pings again and it doesn't take a genius to know who it is. I let out a noise that can only be described as a strangled growl and I slap the phone into my hand. Without looking at Hyunjin's message I dial in his number and press the device against my ear. Two rings later and I can hear his breathing. I resist the urge to skip the pleasantries, as I speak first. 

"Hey bud, how you feelin'?" I ask quieter than intended. 

"Same as yesterday Hyung." His voice comes out in a tired sigh and I can't decide if it was better or worse than the monotonously detached tone he adopted the day before. 

"I really don't think you should go to school tomorrow Hyunjin. Or maybe for a while. "

"Minho, if you're worried about Yoongi, Changbin checked already. He's been suspended for three days." 

Three days? Three! Days! Hyunjin was this close to getting surgery and that _thing_ gets three free days from school? Jeez, Park Jin Yong has to be the dumbest principal alive. If that couldn't possibly be enough, Changbin knows about it and still gives Hynjin the go-ahead for school. Control it Minho. You have to control your anger. My jaw locks into a strange smirk and a huff of air escapes my mouth. 

"You and I both know he has an endless supply of disciples who would gladly beat you up in his place. And even if they don't what are you gonna do after he comes back?" 

"I don't know, Hyung. We'll deal with it when we get there."

"You aren't going to school. End of story." 

"The year just started and if I don't go I'm gonna miss too much. Don't you get that?!" More emotion erupts from his lip and if I'm being honest it makes a small side of my self a little happy. But he is right, he will miss a lot. Hyunjin is very capable, he can figure it out. He can always catch up...

...right?

"Fine! You can go to school tomorrow. I should have a plan by then. But I'm staying with you the whole day." 

"Hyung-" I quickly interrupt him. "This isn't a discussion." 

"Hyung I'm not a kid anymore, I'm fine." 

"Hyunjin, you and I both know that you're the furthest thing from fine. And you'll always be a kid to me. Remember that. Now, I gotta go." 

"Bye Minho." 

"Bye kid." 

The line cuts and it's amazing how that is the exact moment my idea comes into place. Damn I love my mind!

"MOM!"

🎉 🏆🎉

I hate that I'm at school an entire hour before the bell rings but I told Hyunjin I'd be stick to him like glue all day and I meant it. I also hate seeming like a nerd, but where the heck else am I gonna wait for him beside the library. I told him to text me when he gets here but I've been here for over thirty minutes and no new messages have gone through. I'm about thirty minutes and no new messages have gone through. I'm about to get up and search for him when a ringtone goes off. Attention by Charlie Puth pushes its way through my phone speakers and invades the pin drop silence of the library. I quickly answer it, ignoring the overwhelming amount of annoyed stares.

"Hyung," Hyunjin sniffles. I can hear in his voice that he's been crying. "Jin what's going on?" I ask him quickly. "I'm so stupid Minho, I can't even walk inside the building without panicking."

I snatch my stuff from the table I was sitting at and run out of the library. It seems like Yoongi has affected him way more than we both thought. I rush my way through the halls to the front of the school. 

"Where are you Jin, talk to me." I hear him choke on a new wave of tears I was unaware had come. "I'm by the bike racks," he practically whimpers. After exiting the front doors of the school, I take a left to where the bike racks are and I see a small ball of a person failing to hide behind them. He's a whole two inches taller than me yet right now, he seems like the smallest little thing on Earth. Once I'm only a couple of feet from him, I end the call and stick the phone in my pocket. I can see him shaking so I put my hand on his shoulder, but it only makes him jump. I pretend as if I don't notice and nod my head towards the main building. 

"Let's go bud," I whisper to him softly. He grabs the sleeve of my jean jacket, using it to pull himself up off the ground. He slowly walks beside me maintaining his grip on my sleeve. Before entering the building I remove his hand and place it inside mine. I'm more than positive it'll land us in some hot water soon, but I can tell that Hyunjin needs the anchor. Some type of physical reassurance to ground him. Some distraction from the chaos I know for a fact runs wild in his head. 

Only a few seconds in the hallways and the roubles have already begun. Hyunjin is all too aware of the judgmental glances at our intertwined hands and tries to pull away. I only grip his hand harder and pull him closer to my side. As we walk further into the school, whispers accompany the glances. And because this school practically reeks of intolerance the whispers gradually get louder, quite obviously on purpose. 

I stop in the middle of the hall and briefly let go of Hyunjin's hand. Despite his restraint earlier, a look of disappointment and confusion at my current actions paints his face. I take the headphones from around my neck and place them on Hyunjin's head. I press play on a playlist I made for Hyunjin years ago (as it seems to work wonders for distracting him) and we continue going down the hall hand in hand. 

While pulling his attention from the onslaught of annoyingly nosey students, the music also acted as my diversion. However, by the look on Hyunjin's face it seems it won't be lasting very long. 

"Hey! We are supposed to be going to my first period," he whines. 

"I never said that."

He tries to stammer out a protest, but I'm already dragging him into the front office. I open the door to see my favorite senior office aide. 

"What's up Jamie, is your dad in the office?" I ask the red-haired girl. She immediately glared at me. I know how much she hates that word, but I have way too much fun teasing her. She plucks the blue lollipop out of her mouth and scoffs. 

"Step. Dad," she says, using the candy as a pointer to accentuate each word. "But yes. He's in there," I salute to her and make my way to the principal's office. 

I hear a small "thank you Jimin," before Hyunjin's footsteps quickly patter in tow behind me. 

I open Principal Park's door without knocking and quickly make myself comfortable on his old worn-out couch. 

I'm in here practically all of the time so it doesn't take long for me to make myself at home. Hyunjin on the other hand had politely bowed after shuffling in and is now standing awkwardly in the corner, keeping his eyes locked on his shoes. I grab him by the wrist and tug him onto the couch next to me. 

"Since Hyunjin is here, I'm assuming he is aware of the situation."Before anything else is said Principal Park digs in his drawer to pull out a packet of papers. 

"Here are the temporary reassignment papers. All the adults have been consulted so the only signature needed is yours Mr. Hwang," he finishes with a smile. 

Hyunjin tens his head to glare at me. I'm starting to think that there might have been a better way to execute this half-baked plan of mine. Or maybe a different plan all together might have been more successful.

Hyunjin is a lot of things. Vulnerable being one. Extremely insecure being another, but in no way is this kid stupid. He knows better than to sign something he knows jack shit about. And it's just now occurring to me that this moment is the "I'll figure it out later" part of my plan that almost always makes an appearance. Well it seems that later is now and I still can't find a solution besides telling him the truth. While we are embracing honesty, telling the truth was a part of the plan, however not until the papers were signed. So once again, I find myself at a standstill. 

Someone clearing their throat brings me back to reality. I'm unaware of how long I was out of it, but I guess long enough to have both Principal Park and Hyunjin staring at me blankly.

"Mr. Park can you give us a minute?" I ask the 47-year-old man. 

"I'm sorry?" He puzzles back at me. 

I jerk my head a couple of times towards his office door. 

"Are you seriously asking me to leave my own office right now?" 

"I will pull the fire alarm again." 

Principal Park holds his head in his hands. "Please don't. If the fire department comes here without a reason one more time I'll be in huge trouble." How fast I can get him worked up is quite entertaining. 

"Who said there won't be a reason," I retort back. 

Maintaining eye contact with me, he pushes his chair away from the desk and exits the room. 

"Minho. What did you do?" Hyunjin asks me, his recent expression of restlessness finally returning. 

"My mom is gonna homeschool you for a few weeks, just until you're healed."

"That isn't something I asked you to do. You are only making me more an inconvenience by doing that." 

When is he going to understand that some people might enjoy helping him? 

"You aren't. My mom loves the idea. If anything, you're doing it for her. She wanted to homeschool me, but I wouldn't let her. She says I have anger issues."

"You do. Badly." 

"Shut up, that's not the point. Sign the papers and let's go." 

"I really don't want to. But...a break from people sounds nice. But only until the grading period is over."

"Perfect! You should be healed by then." 

Hyunjin gets up from the couch, takes a pen from the principal's desk, and marks the stack of papers with his signature. With no hesitance at all, he gets up. 

"Are you staying here?" he asks me. 

I fly out of my seat, somewhat concerned at how easy that was. I salute to Jimin on my was out and quickly shuffle after a quick-paced Hyunjin. 

"So how is all of this going to work?" he asks me without looking back.

"They will email my mom all the worksheets and stuff. She said you can come over anytime you want, she doesn't want to pressure you." 

I place my arm around his shoulders, trying to be reassuring. However, he only pushes it away. 

"Sweet." 

🎉 🏆🎉


	6. SIX

**Hyunjin's POV**

Week 1

(Monday)

I was annoyed at Minho at first, for making this decision without my input. For putting me in an uncomfortable position. However I'm starting to see the silver lining here. Maybe not the one he wants me to see, but it's silver nonetheless. Yes, not having to see the idiots who torment me constantly is nice, but for some reason my focus lies with Changbin. I want to take full advantage of this space apart we have. It should be quite easy considering most of our time together is spent at school. All I have to do is drown myself in my studies and everything should take care of itself. Distance between Changbin and I is inevitable that way. 

(Wednesday)

Minho was right when he said that this wouldn't be as bad as I thought. His mom teaches me only for five hours a day instead of seven like normal. There's tons of small breaks in between as well. I don't know if it's the material itself or the way Minho's mom teaches it, but everything is so easy to understand. He also wasn't wrong when he said his mother would enjoy it. The light in her eyes when we start a new subject or move on to a different topic releases some of the regret of agreeing to this. This might be good for me after all. 

🎉 🏆🎉

Week 2

(Tuesday) 

It's seems that I've become an expert at lying to myself. Despite it being practically no time at all, the work has gotten harder. Either I've forgotten what was taught to me only a few days ago, or I've let my mind take over again. Minho's mom has given me a bit more liberty. Seeing as how I'm only reviewing what has been taught to me, I suppose she thought I could do it alone. I would ask for help, but "I've gotten used to the idea of not being a nuisance and I'm not trying to jeopardize that. And that's just school. 

As much as I wanted for the newfound space in my relationship to drift us further apart. Changbin had other ideas. Everyday after school he would pick me up from Minho's house. He sends me random texts in the middle of the day like "missin' you <3" or "would u b mad if I skipped to come see u??" and sometimes even "You not being here make me realize how much I need you." 

Each text, only hours apart are slowly crushing me. Not only are they so sweet that I'm practically suffocating, bit it's the fact that I feel the same. I'm unaware of what possessed me to think that tearing myself from Changbin would be easy. I have to nip this in the bud before I change my mind. 

(Thursday) 

For the greater good of Changbin I've decided to be more strict with myself. I've stopped answering his calls. I respond to his texts with half-hearted one word replies. It's hurting me a lot more than I thought it would. But everything in life is like that for me. To be honest, even that is just giving in to my selfishness. I know a way to finish this once and for all. 

🎉 🏆🎉

Week 3

(Wednesday)

The numbers I haven't felt for what seems like a long while has returned. I have to force myself to do everything except sleep. That creeps up on me as it pleases. If I had it my way I'd be in bed forever, however the need to ear and use the bathroom is hindering that wish. Minho also has a habit of checking in on me. It's nothing that I'm not used to really. I just have less motivation to humor him. I'm tempted to stop answering his calls as well but I'm not dumb enough to think he would let me get away with that. I'm trudging through my schoolwork which I know is so bad I might as well just leave it undone. The only thing I'm clinging to is staying out of Minho's mom's way. If I just do what she gives me, pretend to understand, and seem as if I care about being here in the first place just maybe I can get through these next few weeks. 

🎉 🏆🎉

Week 4 

(Monday) 

Today I've decided I don't care. I don't care about Changbin or Minho or his mom. I don't care whether or not I eat. I think soon I'll stop caring how long it's been since I've showered too. It's been only 2 days so far. I wonder when I'll stop counting. I've stopped going to Minho's house for classes. I don't think anyone else cares either considering no one has called me. Then again who would want to deal with a mess like me. I'm glad actually. This is exactly what I'm protecting Changbin from. 

🎉 🏆🎉

Week 5 

(I don't know) 

I stopped counting the days I spend in bed a while ago. It's not hard with the blackout curtains in my room blocking off all the light. My parents are never here so they don't check on me. Not like they would care if they ever were home. If I have to be honest, I'm confused on why Minho hasn't come to see me yet. I've been expecting him to come in screaming about how pitiful I look for a while now. Maybe it's good he's not here. Something tells me I should get used to being alone again. 

🎉 🏆🎉

Week 6?

(I've lost the will to care) 

My sleep has been riddled with nightmares. The same one over and over. Probably an effect of me not taking my anti-depressants, but those are just bound to make me worse than I am right now. At least I'm feeling something...I think. 

A loud banging interrupts my thoughts. Maybe it's a burglar. I wonder if they would be willing to let me lie here if I don't try to stop them. I'm not in a "getting tied up and gagged" mood right now. If they have to kill me I hope they do it fast, I feel like I've suffered enough. Whatever. My room door gently opens and I guess now is a good time to prepare for death? 

I hear part rustling near my desk before footsteps approach my bedside. 

"Hyunjin get up," a voice barks at me. 

Cool no burglar. Just Minho. I forgot I gave him ta key. 

I choose not to respond. If I'm not gonna die I'm going back to sleep. 

"This is getting ridiculous. I get that you're upset but you're starting to scare me. it's not funny."

His voice is stern and somewhat contradictory to the fear I know is underneath it. However, that sentence breaks my heart more than I thought possible. Can't he see I'm struggling here? Why does he feel the need to make it worse? 

"Do you know what I had to do to be here?!"

I label that question as rhetorical. It's clearly not, but I don't know what to say back. 

Minho grabs my blanket and I try to keep my grip on it, but I guess my body is weak because it takes him no effort at all to snatch it from my fingers. So that's what happens when you don't eat for a few days. 

I remain on my back staring up at the ceiling. It takes everything in me to not look at him. I'm unsure of exactly what would happen if I do, but I know for certain I will cry. I can't cry right now, partly because it's only going to agitate Minho more...and partly because I haven't cried in 3 days, and that's a lengthy record for me that I'm not quite read to give up just yet. 

"Get the hell up. Now." 

Why should I? How would that benefit me, or anyone else for that matter? This bed is the only way I can be out of evveryone's way. This bed is the only place where breathing doesn't feel like a chore. So no, I'm not getting up. 

"Please." 

His desperate plea is breathless. It comes out as barely a whisper, but I can tell it is forced. He is trying to control himself and it's only lead to him sounding like he's being strangled. His voice sounds like he's on the verge of breaking down into tears. I've never seen Minho cry before. Five years at the orphanage together and I've never seen a single drop fall from his eyes. To suddenly be the cause of it now is something unreal, but there is nothing I can do about that right now. I'll die in this bed if it comes to that. I can no longer trust myself.

My best friend shoves my metal bed frame to the side, easily moving it despite my weight. He climbs on top of me and grabs me by my shirt. 

"This is your last chance Hyunjin." Wetness kisses my face and I'm unsure if it's Minho's tears or my own. 

"If you're not gonna get up, I will _make_ you." He searches my eyes for some sort of compliance but it's not there. He tries to growl but it only sounds like a desperate yelp as he pushes me repeatedly against the mattress. This ignites the pain in my ribs but I know there is nothing in the world going to stop this. 

It's funny because I'm not even scared really. I stare into his eyes and all the anxiety comes crashing down on all at once. I can't help but laugh at the entire situation. I laugh so hard more tears fall down my face than already there, and unsurprisingly it only upsets Minho more. 

He gets off of me but tries to drag me out of bed. "Minho!" a voice cries out from behind him. With little time in between, Minho is on the ground holding his face. 

Strong yet soft hands cup my face. "Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" Chan asks me. 

I shake my head no, but I remain unsure on whether or not it's a lie. 

Chan pulls Minho to his feet and tries to drag him out of the room by the back of his shirt. By the look on his face it seems his mind is just now registering what he did. His breathing gets heavier and his hands scrape his scalp. 

Minho takes a step towards me and my feet unwillingly shy away from him. Confused he proceeds to walk in my direction. "Jin, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I couldn't control myself." 

I back myself up until my back hits my nightstand, for some reason trying to create more distance between us. Chan blocks Minho's way with his arm and tries to walk him out of the room. However, Minho never goes down without a fight. he tries to push past our Hyung to get to me, but Chan is stronger than he seems.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. Just let me talk to him. Hyunjin, I'M SORRY!" he says this practically trying to claw his way out of Chan's grip as he guides them out of my house. 

I look into his eyes and I know he truly is. Minho can see through my head, but I can see through his heart. I can tell that it beats with guilt, regret, and sincerity but I wish it didn't. I deserved every second of that, and more probably.

🎉 🏆🎉


	7. SEVEN

**Minho's POV**

After exiting the house, Chan practically throws me out of his grip. 

"I'm going back, I need to talk to him." I strain my neck up, hoping to see that Hyunin has followed us to make such a request easier

"No." 

It's times like these that I can finally remember that he is older and taller than me. Contrary to his soft personality, Chan can be rather scary. His strong build and angered gaze are tactics he uses to intimidate me, but I won't let him win. 

"Move the fuck out of my way Chan, I'm trying to fix this." I need to go back and explain that I didn't mean to let that happen. It wouldn't be the first time I lost control in front of Hyunjin, but it is the first time I've...attacked him. And it will be my last. I just have to apologize. And then I can fix the mess this kid is in. 

"Do you wanna get punched in the face again, because I won't fucking hesitate. Your head is way too far up your ass right now." Chan speaks so forcefully spit flies out of his mouth. 

"You keep letting your anger take over and it's hurting other people. The fact that you haven't realized that on your own yet is a problem. Maybe...maybe Changbin was right. You do need from Hyunjin." Chan's voice is practically dripping with shame and disgust. 

I try to use his disappointment as a way to get myself understand the seriousness of the situation, but it only makes me more angry. The very thought of not seeing Hyunjin for longer than I already have, makes my heartbeat dangerously erratic. An unknown feeling in my stomach arises and I will give anything to make it go away. 

"That short stack doesn't know shit. I'd die before I let anyone take him away from me." I mean every word of it too. 

"Listen to yourself! You sound crazy! No one is trying to take him from you!" Chan is now full-on screaming at me, his booming voice filling the quiet street. 

When I made the plan to have Hyunjin homeschooled, I wanted to be selfish, but there are other people who care about him that posed a threat to such a luxury. The only way I got away with doing all that is because I made a deal. 

Chan and Changbin would agree to me pulling Hyunjin out of school (forged parent signatures and everything) on the grounds that I limited my time with him. I wasn't too happy at the idea, but it could have been worse. Changbin wanted me to stop seeing Hyunjin all together. 

_"It'd be a perfect time for a break between the two of you,"_ he said to me. _"It wouldn't be a punishment, it'd be time for you to get your shit together."_ Chan, however, thankfully strayed him away from the extreme notion and came to the compromise of less face time. 

I honestly thought that it wouldn't be that bad. In my mind, we would still text and hang out on the weekends like we always did. But Hyunjin quite obviously had other plans that I failed to notice. 

If I had paid more attention there was probably a way I could have avoided this. Not only my lashing out, but Hyunjin falling off as well. Thinking about all of this at once causes a flood of emotions to run through me so quickly I can practically feel my body buzz from it. I can't leave Hyunjin. And I need desperately, more than anything, for Chan to know how lost I would be if I did. 

"I know I'm mean, and I seem like I'm hard on him all the time, but I really don't think I could live with myself if Hyunjin wasn't around. You think I don't know I'm a shitty person? Trust me I am all too aware. But that kid in there is the only reason I haven't done something worse."

I can feel tears streaming down my face now I never thought that I would get the chance to say any of this out loud and I can't stop myself now. 

"Hwang Hyunjin is and forever will be my number one priority and I'll be damned if anyone tries to tell me otherwise." I'm sobbing at this point. I'm a mess, I know it for sure, but I don't care. 

Chan grabs his neck and sighs. "Trust me when I say I understand how you feel, I know you think otherwise but I do. However, you can't keep doing this. Think about how Hyunjin is probably doing right now." 

I don't even have to go over the last twenty minutes to remember how petrified my dongsaeng was at my actions. I hope to never have to see that face again. 

"I know. I know. I'm just...I'm so sick of people I care about being pushed around!" I thought I was done with the waterworks but it seems that my body has other land considering the salty tears smoothly falling down my cheeks. 

We sit on the curb of Hyunjin's street, remaining quiet, letting the words in the air truly sink in. Suddenly Chan looks up at me. 

"Then you should start a club."

His face is completely and totally sincere but I still feel the need to ask. 

"...Are you serious?!" 

Chan pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance. I've always hated it when he does that, it makes him seem like he's a forty-year-old father of four. 

"I'm being dead-ass right now Minho." His jaw is set, eyebrows furrowed, and pouty lips pressed into a thin line and I am beyond confused on how he just suggested that like it was a normal idea. 

I've had enough of this shit today. I slowly turn around and with my back facing him, I decide to speak. "That's the dumbest idea you've ever come up with, Hyung." I begin to trudge my way to heaven knows where, but I don't get far before Chan responds. 

"You need to stop running away when things get crazy, man. Pretend like you're responsible for five seconds and make a good decision for once." I can hear his footsteps behind me trying to catch up to me, but I don't have enough energy to walk faster.

His hand clasps onto my shoulder and he shoves something in my hand. "Read this, and sleep in it. Hyunjin needs a support system, that we aren't the only members of. And plenty of other people probably need one too." 

I shake out of his grasp and continue walking. I don't know what he gave me, but I know that there is nothing in here that could get me to change my mind. Nothing at all. No matter how right he might be. 

🎉 🏆🎉


	8. EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is...kind of a filler chapter? But like...kinda not at the same time??? Idk just read it my dood.

_Dear Changbin,_

_You taught me what love was. What it feels like. Before I met you, love was artificial. Kisses in the rain, holding hands in the park, grandiose love confession, all to dangle in the face of lonely people like me. Love was something I wanted_ nothing _to do with._

_But then, you came along. Over time I realized that the movies got some things right. Love is late-night phone calls and cheesy notes in class. But love is also like seeing the world in color for the first time. Love is seeing the cosmos in their entirety by simply looking into your eyes. After you, there was no turning back. Love was now something I deserved. Love went from something I didn't want, to something I couldn't live without. To me, it was beautiful. To others...it wasn't._

_Into the first 3 weeks of us dating, people called me names. I thought no one would pay any attention considering how scared of you the whole school is. It'd make sense that we'd be untouchable. But they got to me somehow. As time went by, things got worse. Names were paired with insults. Nasty notes were left in my locker. My phone was filled with so many awful messages I decided to just delete everything. Including all the pictures of me for some reason._

_Believe me, I tried to ignore all the things people said and did to me. I really tried to fight. But it wasn't enough because they all got what they wanted. Nothing I do is enough to shut out all the bad thoughts they've made re-enter my head. You know how I used to be._

_You know Hyung, I once believed that everyone deserved to be loved. But now I can see that's not true. I've been seeing it for a while but the lines were too blurred until now. I thought society is right. Being gay is wrong and disgusting. But I paid more attention and I realized that that was drastically wrong. There's plenty of other gay people out there that have escaped suffering. But I haven't. So that means I'm the problem. I'm what's wrong. I'm disgusting. I don't deserve to be loved. But by some miracle, you decided to do it anyway. Unlike me Changbin, you deserve all the love this world has to offer. And you know I hate cliches, but if you love something you have to let it go right?_

_Seo Changbin it was an honor being loved by you, but I think it's time to let me go. There is no point in wasting your time on something so worthless._

_\- Your love,_

_Hwang Hyunjin_

_🎉 🏆🎉_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After typing this up and editing other chapters I've come to realize I'm not a huge fan of how this chapter turned out, so at some point, I will be changing it. I don't really know when or how much of it I will change but if you read this chapter and didn't really like it too much, just know you're not the only one.


	9. NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please appreciate this chapter because it literally took FOREVER to write. My dumb self got bored in class one day so I had to write it on paper but LOST THE PAPER!!! Like fuck dood. But anyways, I tried to wait and see if I could find it but I gave up and had to rewrite a real good chunk of this. But everythings all gucci now, so enjoy babes <3

**Minho's POV**

"So how the fuck does this club shit work?" I ask Chan. We ended up in detention this week due to "inappropriate language", and my Hyung, being the goody-two-shoes he is, has been doing homework the entire time. 

He glares at me over the edge of his laptop while he continues typing. After a few seconds of the most entertaining staring contest I've ever been in, Chan returns his attention to his computer screen. I say his name to get him to actually respond but he only gives me the finger, while typing (significantly slower) with only one hand. 

"You're being a bitch," I huff out as I rest my chin on the heel of my palm. 

"We are in detention," he spits, "how the fuck else am I supposed to act." 

He's saying it like I'm the reason we're in here. Which surprisingly, is not the case this time. Chan just happened to be ranting about how he would like to "shoot the entire student body, and then maybe himself" while we were passing by a bitchy AP. I told him student council would be an awful thing to be a part of, but my opinion quite obviously didn't matter. The life of hell he lives ow gives me a satisfying sense of revenge, so I'll ignore his snootiness fo now. 

"Well get your shit together, you need to help me figure out how to start this club." His reaction lets me know that he definitely wasn't listening to me the first time. He stops everything he's dong and looks up at me. His face softens and I can see a sadness in his eyes that I refuse to address. 

"Yo read the letter didn't you," he practically whispers. 

I only nod my head in response. "Where did you get it from anyway?" I ask him. 

He closes his laptop. "After a couple of weeks of him being gone, I just decided to check in on him. He seemed fine...sort of, but I saw the letter on his desk. I didn't know what was going on, but I didn't want to push him to tell me. I just got scary vibes, so when he wasn't looking, I took it." He waves his hand around afterward as if to say he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. In no way am I complaining, my question was answered and I don't need anything extra to make me worry more about Hyunjin. 

Suddenly, Ms. Oh walks in, shooing everyone out of the library. I wait for Chan as he packs up his things and shuts down his computer. 

"I was wondering when you'd ask about the club," he starts. "Bin and I have already started making plans," Chan says as he leaves his enormous backpack around his shoulders. 

It doesn't take very long for us to reach the front of the school. 

"I'm offended you would just assume I'd comply with this stupid shit," I grumble under my breath. Not very well it seems since he responds effortlessly. 

"Must not be too stupid since you've decided to do it." And once again the all-mighty Bang Chan has bested me. I refuse to prove any thoughts he has right, so I stay quiet. 

🎉 🏆🎉

Our walk takes longer than normal. Now don't get me wrong. I appreciate a leisurely afternoon stroll as much as the next guy, but we've got to get this stuff figured out soon if we want Hyunjin to ever see the light of day again. And I really wish Chan would put his uselessly long legs to work and walk faster. 

I don't bother to wait for Chan when we reach the door. I've known him long enough to know that his front door is never locked. He should consider himself lucky really. If he was anyone else I probably would have stolen from him by now. His family is loaded. If I think about it...there's so much shit in here...would they really even miss it?

"Yes I will miss my family's crest medallion, so put it down." Chan suddenly says from behind me. 

How the fuck does he do that?

"Sorry," I grumble half-heartedly, "force of habit." 

And it really is. Stealing is just second nature to me at this point. It started as a way to survive and kind of turned into whatever the fuck it is now. I could stop anytime I want to, but my parents thought differently. They had hoped with a little bit of counseling I would become an upstanding member of society...which didn't happen. What can I say? Once a klepto, always a klepto. 

After walking up Chan's unnecessarily long mansion stairs, I reach his room to see a miniature goth wannabe curled up in the middle of a king-sized bed. He looks up at the sound of our approaching footsteps and immediately rolls his eyes at the sight of me. 

He throws his phone to the side and rolls off of the unnecessarily big bed. He shuffles out of the room and bumps his shoulder against mine as he walks past me. It's barely been five seconds and I'm already the bad guy. 

"What the hell is this selfish prick doing here?" Changbin grumbles to the blonde behind me. 

"Selfish?" 

Changbin whips back around to face me. "Why do you sound so confused?" He jets his pointer finger into my sternum. "You are the reason my boyfriend has locked himself up away from the world. And you're also the reason he hasn't talked to me in two weeks." 

I'm unaware of how these things are my fault, but there's no point in trying to argue with him today. Everyone needs someone to blame, right? To be honest, I'm more annoyed at the fact that he thinks it's appropriate to touch me. I shove his hand off my chest, semi amused at the deadly expression he carries as he looks up at me. 

"This shit is happening because you have to have everything your way. You never think about anyone but yourself." 

Jesus, I swear I just got this lecture. If it was anyone else, maybe I'd agree with them. But Changbin? He has no idea what I'm doing for him. For Hyunjin. If he knew about the letter, he wouldn't have the guts to say a single word of that nonsense. There's a variety of choice words I'd like to use right about now but Chan is giving me his "play nice" look and as petty as I am I've had enough drama for today. 

"You're right," I say to him, despite the fact that he is highly incorrect. "Thank you for helping me with this."

I see his eyes soften slightly for just a second. He clears his throat to collect himself and walks back to the bed. 

"I'm not doing this for you. Hyunjin needs this."

🎉 🏆🎉


	10. TEN

**Minho's POV**

"Are you done acting like children now?" Chan asks. Finally entering his room, he sits at his desk and rummages through the drawers until he pulls out a small black bullet journal. He's been writing and doodling in that thing religiously for I don't even know how long. Guess that's where his "ideas of high intellect" are. Pft. Nerd. 

He sits on the bed and I follow him, making sure to maintain as much distance as possible from Changbin. Chan opens the book to a bookmarked a page that's titled "Club ideas" in obnoxiously perfect black calligraphy. 

"What Changbin and I have come up with is...meetings will be on Tuesdays, in the library, after school until 6. We can put up posters all over the school, make announcements in the office, and I can ask members of the student council to help spread the word too if you want." 

How? How does he keep doing that? The dude makes straight A's and says dumb shit like this. 

I look in Changbin's direction, hoping for any sign of disagreement. To my surprise, he's giving the same strained look that I'm giving him. 

"I...don't know about that last part Hyung," Changbin speaks. 

"Huh? Why not?" he asks, eyes slowly getting bigger. 

Oh, this poor, poor heterosexual boy. I thought even an ally like him would understand the situation we're in. 

"Because it's fucking stupid?" 

Chan very rarely gets angry with me. In this situation, if it were any other person, they'd probably hate me for what I just said. But not Christopher Bang. He knows by now that that is honestly the closest thing to constructive criticism that I'm gonna ever reach. 

Changbin suddenly stumbles over his words, trying to neutralize mine. "Hey w-wait, I wouldn't say s-stupid. Just a bit...counterintuitive."

The eldest in the room still looks confused. He looks up at the ceiling and scratches his head as if the solution would magically appear to him from thin air. 

"Hate to break it to you Mr. Bang," Minho starts, "but broadcasting like this is only going to make the situation worse." 

Chan contemplates the repercussions. He's thinking so hard his eyebrows are practically knot together, a small pout on his lips. Eventually, his face falls back to normal and I can tell he's starting to understand what should be common sense. He crosses out a few lines of writing in his journal and begins to speak. 

"Since it seems like that idea will do a little more harm than good, no advertising. We're just gonna have to spread by word of mouth."

If we do it that way, we have to be careful. It's less exposure yes, but if we aren't careful with who we share info with we could end up in deep shit. Guess that'll be my job. 

"Actually, I've told a couple of people already." Chan continues. 

Or not. 

"You did what?" I try to manage the volume and tone of my voice. I've done a pretty good job too; because it sounds significantly calmer than I feel right now. I can see a mild appearance of fear and worry coming from Changbin's eyes in my peripheral vision, however, I remain undecided on who it's in reaction to. 

Chan put his hands out in a gesture to protect himself as well as try to avoid me getting aggressive. "Chill dude, they can be trusted. I promise you." 

As much as I want to I can't argue with that. Chan is a funny dude, but the one thing he would never fuck around with is a promise. He makes very few of them, and to my knowledge, he hasn't broken a single one. I might not know any of these kids, but I'm just gonna have to have trust in this Hyung. 

"So, should I tell them Tuesday in the library?" Chan tries. 

I shake my head. 

"Forget it, I've got a better idea." 

🎉 🏆🎉

Jimin stares at me, her face contorted into an expression of annoyance, confusion, and even a sense of amusement. Suddenly an evil giggle erupts from her lips. I don't fear too much, but Jimin is definitely on the list of things I'm afraid of. Kind of from that laugh alone. 

"Oh, would you look at that. My little underling begging me for help." Her deep sultry tone only adds to the fear her presence already gives me. 

I most definitely did not beg. I only do that in extremely dire situations, and this dumb club is nowhere near grovel worthy. However, people keep saying I should set my pride aside, and it appears now would be the perfect opportunity for that. 

"Look, dude, I don't like this arrangement either, but I'm in a bind at the moment," I reply. 

A damn near terrifying grin takes over Jimin's face. "Oh, I have zero complaints. I got the pleasure of hearing the word please from you. Who knows when that'll happen again." 

Why does everyone make it sound like I have no concept of etiquette? I know what manners are, I just barely use them. 

"You're lucky I like you, Minho," she sighs. 

"Jamie, baby, we've talked about this. I'm gay." I tease her. 

She gets up from her office aide station and promptly punches me in the arm. I underestimated how hard she could hit, I guess that's why I was given this reminder. I try to laugh the sting ways, casually rubbing my arm in an attempt to ease away the pain. 

"So am I, you asshat! Now start walking before I change my mind." 

I sweep my arms and bow. "Lead the way, m'lady."

She simply scoffs at my ridiculous actions and continues walking. I have to take a few quick steps to catch up to her, but soon enough our strides begin to match. As we leave the office area and step into main hall, it's as if our presence is like Moses parting the Red Sea. Upperclassmen effortlessly step out of our path, casually continuing their conversations as if nothing has happened. Freshmen, however, practically throw themselves to the farthest side of the hall. I often forget that Jimin and I have somewhat of the same reputation, except she likes to keep her fighting to a minimum. Don't misunderstand, she can throw a punch about as well as I can, but a sadist like her rather send people crying to their mommy with just a few words. It's admirable really.

In the beginning, I was blindly following my senior, but as I pay closer attention I start to realize that we've left behind the main corridor and are approaching closer and closer to the music building. Once we enter through its doors, Jimin heads straight to the janitorial closet. I stand confused, but I've learned the hard way not to question this girl, so I remain quiet. 

She pulls a ring of keys out of her pocket, each of them color-coded to indicate what door they're made to open. She pulls out a very old looking gold skeleton key. When she opens the door I expect to find brooms and mops and stuff but instead there's a - is that an elevator?

My moth drops and all I can do is stare. I thought I picked every lock in this school I could, how did I miss this one? 

"Are you gonna stand there like an idiot or are you gonna get in?"

I shake myself out of my daze and hop in the elevator alongside the fiery redhead. Once the elevator door closes, we descend into what I can only imagine is a basement. However, once the elevator stops we are met with a much larger space than I was expecting. Big bookcases frame the walls, providing a nice aesthetic for the living space in the center. A circle of couches sits on an antique red carpet which rests on some pretty nice marble floors. Curved staircases are placed on either side of the space leading up to an open second floor that's filled with what looks to be music records. 

"Jimin, what is this?" 

"Pretty awesome right? It's a music library."

She runs from the entrance and plops herself onto one of the couches. 

"Every year, the senior president for the music department picks a junior at the end of the year to pass the torch off to. The president and a max of 9 other people, get the whole place to themselves. However, this place is supposed to be a secret. It's been kept this way since the school was built, so I swear to the stars above Minho if anyone outside of your club or whatever the fuck find this place I will personally murder you." 

Awww she trusts me. 

"Don't get it twisted," she starts. "This place is still mine till the end of the year, so I will be keeping this key. And I don't trust you that much so I'll make a copy of the key for Chan and Chan only."

Jeez, this guy just gets everything without even trying for it. How is that even fair, I'm the person who got us this place anyway. I mean it's not like I requested this place specifically but still. 

"I know it's only the beginning of the year, but I was planning on picking Chan for next year anyway so this kind of perfect." 

Aside from the Chan worship shit, she's right. This is perfect. 

I take my phone from my pocket and immediately call Chan. I don't even give him time to say hello. 

"Hyung. I've found the perfect spot."

🎉 🏆🎉


	11. ELEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in boys, girls, and enbys cuz this chapter is long.

**Hyunjin's POV**

Chan has been giving me tutoring sessions every day for the past week, trying to get me up to speed on all the things I missed. When I think about it, I'm quite fortunate. This grading period seems to be the one all my teachers decided to barely teach anything. 

Much like the homeschooling from Minho's mother, in the beginning, things were naturally easy. I used Minho's outburst as a wake-up call and even a little motivation. As weird as it sounds, I needed that. I know the entire thing wasn't intentional, but he always has a way of grounding me...eventually anyway.

I look down at the last page of the work that was sent by the school. After an hour or so I finally finished the unit test. According to Chan, I got everything correct and I'm fully on track to continue in the next grading period. I'm glad, but not at all surprised. There was a lot less catching up to do than I initially thought. As my Hyung takes one final look through all of today's work, his phone rings. 

_"Rubber duckie, you're the one. You make bath time lots of-"_

He quickly excuses himself to a room further down the hall and answers the phone. 

I chuckle to myself. That's been his ringtone since middle school and as a junior, in high school, he still refuses to change it. I vaguely remember asking him about it and he said it had something to do with some bet. Considering he's kept to it, it's probably a bet with Minho. Those two have some weird determinations when it comes to bets and promises. 

While Chan is gone, I take the time to gather up all the pages on the table in front of me and neatly place them back in his big tutoring binder. Now that my school work is down, I guess I should focus a bit more on myself. I have to go back to school in a few days and there is no point if I don't mentally prepare myself. 

I feel like I definitely should be worried about Yoongi, or anyone else who might try to bother me, but to be honest, I can't quite find it in me right now. God, I am so over this whole bullying thing. Who decided that I was gonna be the target of everyone's aggression? I didn't even do anything. 

I should stop. My emotions will become harder to deal with if I keep thinking too hard, and the drugs will be pointless. Chan pretty much forced me to start taking my meds again. Something about withdrawal or whatever. I've been doing a little better for the past week or so and I honestly don't know whether to attribute that to the meds or my decision to keep busy. Whatever the reason, while I can carry out a simple routine now, I find it difficult to drift my mind away from Changbin. Despite a very slowly changing perspective on life, very little has changed on my thoughts about my tiny boyfriend. 

I smile at the simple thought of his face. We haven't talked in at least 3 weeks, and that's entirely my fault, but I also don't feel an overwhelming desire to reach out. How can I do that when the fear of burdening him weighs heavy in my chest. I knew from the beginning that breaking up with Changbin would be difficult, but it's downright impossible now that I'll be seeing him regularly again. But I have to stand my ground. I can no longer be this selfish. I'll use this small phase of inner strength inside me to do what I know will be truly best for him. 

"Sorry bout that Jin. It was...club stuff."

Hm, I wonder which one. 

"Don't worry Hyung, we were done anyway," I reply. 

He smiles and nods. 

"You know Jin," Chan starts. "I should really get going. I have some student council things I need to take care of."

He points at his phone, most likely in reference to the call, to further accentuate his point. 

I hand him his binder and the rest of the materials he brought along with him. 

"I'll see you at school on Monday?" he asks as he reaches my front door. 

I put on the best smile I can muster for him. "Trust me Hyung, I'm ready." 

He waves and closes the door behind himself. I let my weight fall against the wooden frame and release a heavy exhale. 

Am I sure I'm ready?  
  


🎉 🏆🎉

My first week hasn't been all too bad so far. It seems like Chan gave me extra work because at least for this week, there's nothing to do. It's unfortunate really. A small part of me was hoping that I could use the work as a distraction. Not for anything specific really, I just feel the urge to keep busy.

I feel as if I'm floating around aimlessly and I can tell that Minho has picked up on it. I'm so numb it hurts. The tingling numbness behind my eyes makes my head ache and awakens me from my lethargic state, finally removing me off auto-pilot. Try as he might though, he can't change the feelings of emptiness I'm filled with all on his own. As always, Minho is somehow very aware of all of this and tries (but fails) to get me to interact with others. I've never been much of a social butterfly so I'm confused as to why he thinks I would start now. 

I sit in my last class of the day, staring at the clock, willing the hands to move faster. As the second hand slowly makes its rounds I try to understand the small flicker of irritability that's invading the space in my head. I've been ignoring it all day as I assumed it was just the natural state my head goes to while I'm in public, but for some reason that doesn't feel quite right.

"Alright class, have a good Thursday! I'll see you guys next week."

That's what it is. I've always hated Thursdays. They often feel like Fridays and they just so happen to be the day in which unfortunate occurrences seem to always fall. Minho, Chan, and Changbin typically take me out for ice cream to try and combat this but Chan and Minho know very well I'd prefer to stay away from Changbin if possible.

I take out my phone from my backpack's front pocket and I'm greeted with a message from Minho. 

**Minho-hyung**

No ice cream today, meet me in the music building

_sent 4:03 PM_

I'm glad that I don't have to confront Changbin, but I'm actually more upset than I thought I would be about the ice cream. I push the issue to the farthest depths of my mind and make my way to the music building. A feeling in my gut tells me that something rather suspicious is going on, but there's no proof to suggest this so I disregard it as my end of day anxiety and continue the walk to the opposite side of the school. I stay to the furthest side of the hall and let my hand brush against the walls as I walk mindlessly. I'm met with a few stares, which honestly don't bother me too much, but also don't help alleviate the churning in my stomach. 

Once I get to the music building, Minho is sitting on the bench right outside waiting for me. It takes him a second to acknowledge me, as he's furiously typing on his phone, but once he does he quickly stands and jogs towards me. 

"I know it's Thursday," he starts, "but I have a surprise for you!"

I stare at him blankly. I hate surprises just as much as I hate Thursdays, if not more. 

"I hate you," I say to him. 

"You love me," he responds with a grin. His smug tone only pushes me to continue to antagonize him. 

"You hate me," I pout at him.

"I love you," he states back simply. 

"Then _why_ are you surprising me?" 

"You'll just have to wait and see now won't you." 

Minho gently grabs my wrist and drags me into the building. I try to plant my feet into the ground more firmly, but with Minho pulling on me it only causes me to trip over my worn-out vans. He guides me to the very end of the building in front of the janitor's closet. He pulls a skeleton key from his pocket and unlocks the door. 

"Look if this is some kind of joke, you can forget it. It's not-" 

Minho quickly opens up the door to suddenly reveal rusty bronze doors adorned with a dancing musical staff. The notes start at the bottom and slowly begin to fly off the staff as it continues upwards towards the top of the door.

Without warning, a small chime erupts from the doors and they open. Is this an elevator? Where did this even come from? How long has it been here?

“You gonna get in or you gonna stand there confused?” Minho says, already in the elevator. 

I shake myself out of the spiral of questions running through my head and step into the lift. 

"Where are we going?" I chuckle nervously. 

My only answer is silence. Before I can even get used to the impenetrable absence of sound, the elevator halts to a stop. The doors open to reveal the most beautiful room I had ever seen.

Music covered practically every inch of the enormous space. A sleek grand piano sat perfectly in the middle of the second floor, rows of records sat snugly next to each other above it. I let my eyes follow the curve of the stairway to see...

Changbin. 

My breath catches in my throat. Tears quickly threaten to spill from my eyes so I close them as I try to calm my breathing and collect myself. My heart beats erratically at the thought of him being so close to me. I'm glad that I didn't have enough time to register the look on his face because I know that it would've burned the image into my brain effortlessly. With my eyes still closed I move to turn around, back into the elevator, and leave this mysteriously intimidating atmosphere. Before I can fully turn away, a hand catches me by the small of my back, keeping my direction forward and slowly guiding me closer and closer to the set of couches where my boyfriend currently sits. 

"Hey Hyunjin," Chan's voice tries to disrupt the piercing silence. In all honesty, I hadn't even noticed he was there until now. I guess you could say I only have eyes for Changbin. 

"Uh, hi." 

Minho's hand continues to push me further into the room eventually seating me on one of the big sofas. As his hand slips from around me, my fingers dart out to grasp it. If I don't stay grounded I just might have an anxiety attack and the warmth of the boy next to me is just enough to keep me in control for now. I keep my gaze fixed on my lap in an attempt to shift my mental focus.

As I calm down, the stress melts away and reignites itself as anger. 

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask desperately through my teeth. 

"We know you've been going through a hard time, so we thought that maybe a get together would help." Minho tries. 

"Does it _look_ like you're fucking helping me!?" I yell thoughtlessly. 

"Jin!" Changbin gasps. 

I don't make it a habit to say curse words and I very rarely use them so it's no surprise to me that Chan and Changbin seem taken aback. Minho, however, skips over my outburst and continues to explain himself. 

"We all thought we could make a club for, you know, people like us. So you don't feel so alone." 

"I shared my feelings with you and you thought the way you could fix me was by making a gay club?" I ask exasperated. 

Chan interjects quickly "No one is trying to fix you. We just thought maybe other people were feeling the same as you so we wanted to make a space for them, with you included." 

I sit there blankly. I find it funny how no one ever asks me for permission. Who said I wanted this? Who said that I would be willing to open myself up to other people? Who said I wanted to hear other people's stories?

"I know we don't really have the right to," Chan starts, "but all we ask is that you give it a shot. If after 5 meetings you still hate it we'll stop. I promise."

Men and their promises. 

I've never been able to say no to Chan and it looks like I won't be starting today. 

"Fine," I whisper reluctantly. 

Minho lets go of my hand and jerks his head in Changbin's direction. I guess it's now or never. I trudge to the couch Changbin is sitting on and plop myself next to him, leaving way more space between us than I know either of us would prefer. I open my mouth to talk. To finally let out the words that have been torturing my brain for so long. Never did I think I would have to do it in front of others but here we are. I take a deep breath and begin to speak, but Changbin beats me to it. 

"I know you want to break up with me," he states clearly. "I've been knowing for a bit. I could tell by the look in your eyes and it honestly wasn't hard to piece together with the little bits of info Minho gave me." 

I hang my head down in shame. I can't even break up with my boyfriend correctly. I can never do anything right, even something like this I've been preparing forever for. Is this really what this club was for? To make me feel even more like shit about this?

"The letter...I read that too." Changbin's hand places itself on my thigh, rubbing circles into my knee with his thumb. 

I can feel my pulse quicken and my breaths become shorter.

"Don't touch me, please."

The simmering panic that was settling quietly in my chest this whole time has now started to boil over. It's only now I realize my hands are shaking uncontrollably. There's no point in holding back tears now that I've lost control of the rest of my body, so I let out a shaky exhale and let the floodgates open. 

"Babe..." Changbin says as his hand falls from my leg. It sounds more like a question than anything else. I have a long list of questions flying through my head and I can barely decide which ones to ask first. 

"W-why do you..why do you have that? Where did you get it? I-" My words run together clumsily and I'm unsure if any of them come out clearly enough to be understood. 

Changbin's hands are clasped together, hanging from his knees. He lays his head on top of his hands and I can see his body begin to shake. All I do is make him cry. I knew I should've been more worried about losing it, I just figured I ripped it up or something.

"I took it. I'm sorry," Chan blurts. "I saw it on your desk when I went to visit you. Considering the state you were in it kinda scared me so I thought if it just disappeared, you'd forget about it."

"The state he was in?!" Minho yells "You told me he was fine!" 

"Now isn't the fucking time to be thinking about yourself. Grow the fuck up for once!" Changbin attacks.

I jump at the escalated volume and Changbin's eyes immediately turn apologetic. He sighs heavily and his gaze returns to normal. 

"Look Hyunjin, I don't want to break up with you. Contrary to what you believe my life won't be better off without you. Loving you means I'll be here for everything. I want to be here with you, no matter the issues either of us may be going through. But if you have thought about it with an entirely clear conscience and there's more to you wanting to break up than you feeling like you are hurting me by being with me than we can end it right now. If you are still confused, trust me, you're _not_ hurting me. I want to help you get better, Bin. If you honestly need it, I'd rather take a break than split up completely. I want you to remember that absolutely nothing in this world can make me stop loving you, including some space for yourself." 

I honestly have never thought about what would happen after we broke up. My mind kept telling me that Changbin would be happy to be rid of me. His suffering would finally be over. This entire thing is only letting me know that I'm being more selfish than I was before. I don't know what I want and I don't know what the right answer is, but I knew from the very moment I decided to end things that I would never be the same without him, and I'm not quite sure that it would be for the better. Even now, I've only been thinking about myself. Today is the first time in a while that I've actually heard Changbin's point of view. Space for myself? Isn't that what my entire time outside of school was for? 

"I-I don't know what I want," I mumble to the man next to me. 

Changbin's hand goes up to caress my head, but he thinks better of it and he returns it to his lap. 

"Maybe," he starts, "we could just start over for now."

I'm unsure of what that will look like, but that sounds a lot less scary than losing him forever. If everything Changbin said is true, this just might work. 

"Ok Hyung," I say to him, "I trust you." 

🎉 🏆🎉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here I'll start introducing more characters. Inclusivity and range is the whole point of this fic and I kind of just realized that I only planned to represent sexuality and completely forgot the importance of gender identity, so let me know if you would like to see one of the boys as some type of gender non-conforming or non-binary character. I'd like to stay away from making any of them transgender ( ftm or mtf) as I'm not confident I can accurately portray those roles because it is a bit more complex than just changing their pronouns. Also, I never was one who was a huge fan of genderbending though I know that's not the quite the same as having a trans character. In the end, I know I'll get extremely confused while writing and I have enough trouble keeping all my verbs in the correct tense if you haven't noticed it by now lol. But anywayssss, just lemme know!


	12. TWELVE

**Minho's POV**

It's been exactly a week since the first club meeting and I have no idea how things are going with Hyunjin and Changbin. Part of their whole "starting over" bullshit includes not telling me about everything, which annoys the shit out of me. How am I supposed to help the kid if I don't know what's going on? I fought for Changbin's dorito-body looking ass, so the least he could do is let me know how they're doing. 

"Ho-Ho!" a voice cries from behind me. I try to fight the smile threatening to take over my face, but I've never been good at acting like a hard-ass around Hyunjin. 

"Hey Jin, what's up?" His arm grips my bicep and slides down to my hand, casually interlacing my fingers with his. Hyunjin's hand in mine has always felt like home. More often than not I'm the one initiating physical touch with him, in public no less, so I make a mental note to savor this moment. 

A childish whine wakes me from my thoughts. "Hyung...you aren't even listening!"

Hyunjin's grip grows tighter and his weight causes my walking pace to slow. I'm not extremely fond of trudging through the hallway, practically caring this baby, but he's just so...himself. He looks genuinely happy today and it feels like he's not excessively hyper-aware of the potential judgments of the jerks around us. So I'll let him have his moment. 

"What were you saying bud?" I smile at him. 

"Do I really have to go to that club again? I made up with Changbin." 

I shake my head amused. "You remember the deal you made with Chan." 

His hopeful face falls and he hits our hands against my thigh in a small fit of protest. 

"Besides," I continue, "you making up with Changbin isn't the only point of the club." 

"But Hyung!" he whines. "No one was even there last time." 

"Would you have wanted other people to see that." 

"Well, I guess not," Hyunjin mumbles in response, defeated. 

Together we walk through the halls, hands still intertwined. As we make our way to the music building a girl casually slides in front of us, blocking our way. 

She forces an unconvincing smile as her eyes repeatedly scan our bodies. Giving extra attention to our faces, then our hands. Up and down. Up and down. 

Oh, here we go. 

"Um, hey!" she says awkwardly, practically whispering as if trying to be discreet. However, it's pointless as eyes start to direct their attention towards our little situation anyway. 

"I just wanted to let you know I fully support...this" Her face scrunches in disgust. "Ya know, your lifestyle or whatever." she continues, " But could you not do it where everyone has to see. It makes people feel...uncomfortable. " 

Hyunjin tries to pry his hand from mine, but I keep my grip firm. Why is this kid so quick to give in? I honestly don't care enough to entertain her ignorance with words so instead, I'll put on a show. 

We've started to collect more eyes throughout the hallway, but I've always loved an audience. 

I use my free hand to delicately lift Hyunjin's chin up in my direction. I bring our faces just inches apart, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. All the while, I try to keep myself from laughing at Hyunjin's aggravated face. The kid's not very good at selling it. 

I place a tender kiss on his forehead. Various gasps fill the hall, but I'm not done yet. I return my attention to the annoying bitch in front of me and smile. "Let's go babe," I say confidently. 

I pull Hyunjin away and we continue to our destination. 

"You're so extra Hyung," Hyunjin murmurs. 

"Of course," I say, "But anyway, we should have a new member today, I think. That's what Chan said." 

The rest of our trip to the secret room was quiet, but not uncomfortably so. When we make it down the elevator it looks as if we're the last to show up. Even the new kid was already there. 

By the look of it, he's definitely a senior. He looks like a dork though. Makes sense since he's Chan's friend I guess. 

Hyunjin and I sit on the nearest couch, his arms enveloping my own. 

"Jin, come on. You're practically sitting on me," I complain to the boy. 

"Sucks," he yawns as his eyes scan the room. 

I know what he's thinking so I ask for him. 

"Where's shorty?" I ask . I direct my eyes to the new kid once again and find him looking confused.

So they haven't met yet. For some reason, me getting to know the newbie before Changbin makes me feel like I won something. It's pitiful, I know, but I revel in the victory nonetheless. 

"Changbin got stuck on a composition project that's due tomorrow so he's not here." 

Good. I get Hyunjin all to myself for once. It's been too long since I've seen the kid without his idiot babysitter of a boyfriend. He may be sensitive but he's not made of fucking glass. 

My supervised visits were also over the top. What is this, a divorce agreement? 

"Well," Chan starts again, "Hyunjin. Minho. This is Hongjoong." 

Hyunjin puts on a smile and introduces himself. "I'm Hyunjin. Nice to meet you." His tone is polite, but I can hear his hesitance. Hyunjin has never been one to open up easily and the fact that he doesn't even want to be here is definitely not gonna help that. 

I keep my greeting simple with a wave as I restate my name. 

"Since you're new, how about you tell us about yourself first," Chan says. 

Hoongjoong seems a bit flustered at the sudden spotlight but he clears his throat and begins to speak.

"Uh... my name is Kim Hongjoong and I'm a senior. The reason I'm here is that once I told my friends I was bi they pretty much turned on me. All of them but my best friend anyway." 

I can't help but feel for the guy. Sure, plenty of people at this school hate me cuz I'm gay, but I've never lost friends for it. The only friends I have are in the same boat as me. Except for Chan, I guess.

"We used to be kinda close," he continued, "so I don't really think things will get physical, but you can only ignore the insults for so long ya know." 

I shift my attention towards the younger in my lap. His grasp on my hands becomes tighter. I didn't even think about Hyunjin being triggered at all. I'm honestly such an idiot; how did I forget about that? 

He doesn't seem to be in too much distress so I don't say anything. I just place my chin on his head, hoping it's enough to comfort him some. 

"My parents aren't very accepting either, but it's never too much of an issue unless I bring it up; so I guess it's fine for now." Hongjoong continues. 

I've never been one to listen to other people and now I know why. This shit is depressing. However, despite how much I'm trying to convince myself I don't care, the entire story is hitting me a bit harder than I would like to admit. 

"Can someone else say something now? Please?" Hongjoong asks desperately. 

Can't blame him. I can feel the beginnings of awkward silence in the air already. 

Suddenly the elevator doors open and a kid I've never seen before walks out of it. 

"Hey, gays!" the kid cheers at us. 

I glare at Chan. The janitor's closet door locks automatically after it's closed, which means that kid has the keys. 

Kinda funny considering I wasn't allowed to have them. Better believe I will take full advantage of this situation and channel all the pettiness I've been feeling about those dumb keys. 

"I thought Jimin said only you were allowed to have the keys," I challenge my Hyung, "who the fuck is that?"

The kid didn't seem phased at all by my comment or my rude tone. Probably gets it a lot considering how loud he is. 

Chan sighs as his head falls in his hands. "Felix, shut up and give me the keys."

"Bossy bossy," the kid responds in English. It's not hard at all to pick up the boy's thick Australian accent. By that alone, I can already tell that I'll find this dude annoying. Also by the fact that he's dressed head to toe in pink. 

I honestly can't help it as my eyes pan from the fuzzy, baby pink beret neatly placed on top of his messy blonde hair; down to the Peppa Pig Thrasher shirt he wears that falls over his plaid pink pleated skirt, finished off with white high-top Converse with pink laces. Might as well call the kid Pepto. 

Nothing about the fit should go together, but on him, it looks so natural; as if he dresses that way all the time. 

Felix strides by our couch to Chan. "Take a picture, it'll last longer," I hear the boy flirt. 

At first, I thought he was talking to me, but Felix's eyes focus on the boy in my lap who has his mouth wide open. 

Felix throws the keys at Chan (almost hitting him in the eye) and plops on the couch next to his. 

I lift Hyunjin's chin off the floor and whisper to him, "Way to be subtle." 

I hear Chan and Felix whispering off to the side as well. 

"You're late," Chan bites. 

"I told you I would be," the kid fights back. 

"The meeting is over in like 5 minutes." 

"Your point?" 

Chan finally gives up, probably catching on to my persistent staring. 

"This is Felix, my cousin. He just moved here from Australia."

"Pretty," Hyunjin breathes out. 

The kid's definitely not my type, but I can respect where Hyunjin is coming from. Maybe. 

"Should I tell you my life story with the rest of the time?" Felix cutely asks. 

"No," I interject, "I've had enough depression today. Sorry, Hongjoong." 

Despite being my superior he bows an apology.

"Meeting over," I yawn. 

"But-" Chan begins

"Don't care, I'm tired. Hyunjin, let's go." 

🎉 🏆🎉

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not abt to lie to y'all. This is not my best work but I've been holding on to this chapter for so long I just wanted to finish it so I could continue on to the next chapter cuz I'm really excited to write it. But thanks for bearing through it lmao.


	13. THIRTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I decided to just take W**jin's name out of my fic as I don't want that busted nigga associated with my book at all. I didn't really want to come up with a new plan for how his story progresses in the book so I simply switched him out for Ateez's Hongjoong bc he's one of the only people I could think of who fits skz height range lol. He will remain a permanent character in Woojail's place and I hope you guys enjoy his addition to skz's dynamic!

**Hongjoong's POV**

That meeting was kinda nice. I mean it was definitely weird, but not too bad. I won't lie, when Chan first threw the idea my way I was a little skeptical.

_"Come on, just give it a try. It might make you feel better. Even just a little."_

I don't know how he's so good at convincing people to do stuff. I really didn't want to talk about it out loud at first. It just makes things real. It means I can't run away from all the stuff those dickheads have said to me. Running away is just so much easier. 

I'll do it. Eventually. 

"Hongjoong!" someone barks behind me. 

A guy can't even walk to his car in peace. 

"What are you doing at school so late, sissy boy?" 

I try to pick up my pace a little. I don't have the time or energy to entertain his repetitive, homophobic bullshit right now. I'm quickly starting to regret parking on the senior lot now; it's so far from the front of the school and I'm not even halfway there yet. 

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, fag!" 

I continue to walk, ignoring him. I wish I could go faster but the only option I have left at this point is running. I may be afraid of conflict, but I'm not a bitch and I refuse to have this douche label me as one. 

I shouldn't care what he thinks, but a couple of months ago, he was one of my friends. No matter how many times I tell myself I don't have to listen to him, I always let his words get to me. 

"What do you want from me Yeongho?" I ask him. 

I consider halting my movement and having a proper conversation, but I've given this idiot enough of my time as it is. 

"I just figured since you're gay now, you should suck my dick!" he shouts behind me.

The amount of sense this entire situation lacks is astounding. He's never done anything like this before and never seemed like the type to either. Is he joking or something? How can someone who disowned me for liking guys say that shit? And I'm supposed to be the "sus" one? 

I'm finally in view of my car but my distance from it is still further than I would prefer. Yeongho, being taller than me, had no problem keeping up with my quick pace. I start digging in my shoulder bag for my keys, my fingers hurriedly fumbling over papers, headphones, gum, everything but the damn keys. 

I finally reach the driver's side of my car and as soon as I feel my keys, Yeongho slams his hand against the back seat window, trapping me between him and the car. 

"Oh come on, don't play hard to get. I'm trynna do you a favor." 

What fucking favor?

"Look, I don't know what you're on," I spit at him, "but you aren't doing shit. Now get off me Yeongho." 

Apparently it's opposite day because he gets even closer, his hot dragon breath huffing down my neck. I feel too confused to think rationally so I let my body act naturally. 

I take the keys out of my bag and poke him in the side. 

"Hey what the hell!" Yeong-Ho yelps.

I quickly get in my car and lock the doors. 

Barely any time passes before he's harassing me again. 

I really thought that none of them would get violent with me, but I'm pretty sure Yeongho's persistent banging on my car window would count as violence.

Sure, I should probably just drive away, but I don't wanna run the risk of hurting the guy. I couldn't even move if I wanted to anyway. Too many things are running through my brain right now. 

To be honest, I can't even tell if he's just making fun of me or is genuinely (and aggressively) interested in having a homosexual experience. Even if he is serious, why is it my responsibility to give it to him? Also, why is he being mean to me!?!?

"Oh come on!" he screams through the glass, kicking the driver's side door. "I know you want it! You fags are always begging for a quick fuck!"

Where is he getting this information from? Nevermind, the answer to that isn't gonna stop him from messing with me. 

When is he gonna stop? I don't have the patience to wait it out, but I'm not being given much of a chance. 

How did things get so bad so fast? Never did I think someone I befriended would be capable of something so hateful. 

It wasn't nearly this bad when I first told them.

_My hands sweat profusely as I wait in the corner of the gym for the rest of my members to return. The wrestling club held the tournament at our school this time around and I promised myself that if we won against Eden High, I'd come out. I'm starting to think now, that that was a stupid idea._

_I should've made a script or something because I have no idea what I'm gonna say. Hell, a part of me wasn't even expecting us to win and now I'm in this mess._

_The gym doors finally open and my teammates flood in, still basking in the glow of victory. "Go!" my brain yells, "It's now or never."  
_

_Telling them now scares the everloving shit out of me, but I know how much I'll regret staying closeted and keeping my friends in the dark._

_"Hey!" I shout a little too loud. The group quickly quiets down and directs their attention towards me._

_"We rocked their shit!" Yeongho yells as he roughly pats me on the shoulder. Cheers from the rest of the guys effortlessly follow._

_"Yea. Yea we did," I say dismissively, "but I have something I need to tell you guys."_

_Jihoon laughs. "Come on dude, don't sound so serious. You're not quitting the team are you?"_

_My gaze lands on my feet as I wipe my sweaty hands onto my singlet. I can hear my heart beating extremely fast and it only makes time seem as if it's slowing down._

_"I'm...uh" I can't seem to get the words to leave my lips. The intense stares of friends I've had for years feel like weights pushing down on my chest but I take a deep breath and try again._

_"Well, I just thought that you guys should know something," I say._

_"Whatever it is, hurry it up. I wanna go home" Jihoon yawns. The rest of the team grunts in agreement._

_That comment is honestly not helping me right now. The buzz of anxiety on my skin only gets worse. My throat feels like it's in the pit of my stomach, but I'm gonna have to suck it up if I want to get this weight off me._

_I take another deep breath and let the secret fall from my lips._

_"I'm bisexual," I say._

_There's no response so I'm not quite sure if anyone heard me, but I also know that I don't have it in me to say it again. However, I am a little concerned at the row of confused faces in front of me. Do they not know what that is or are they just confused about me being gay?_

_"You're a fag?" [not yeongho] bursts._

_Um...wow ok._

_"Well, there's no need to say it like that," I mumble to the floor._

_The silence that once consumed the gym is suddenly replaced with curious whispers and hushed conversations._

_The group seems to have naturally migrated into a small huddle. Since they've all started to speak over each other, their volume has gotten progressively louder, yet I have more trouble making out what they're saying._

_I haven't heard any more slurs, so that's a win I guess, but every time they look back at me something in my stomach tells me this is not gonna end in my favor._

_Somehow they get even louder and it's starting to make my whole body shake. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have-_

_"HEY!" Yeongho yells above the rest. "There's no need to freak out. We'll get this resolved."  
_

_Thank you! I knew there was a reason we made him captain. I'm not quite sure what we're resolving but at least they've stopped talking amongst themselves._

_"Everyone get on the bus. I'm gonna talk to Hongjoong real fast."_

_They all hurry out of the gym, seemingly annoyed._

_I look up at Yeongho waiting for him to speak._

_"Look man, I hate to say it, but I think you should find your own ride home tonight."_

_That is not at all what I thought he was going to say._

_"What?" I say, sounding pitiful and broken._

_He massages his neck as he speaks._

_"We're glad you're happy I guess, but it is kind of weird. We just need some time to...process. Ya know?"_

_Are you serious? You have to be joking. Process, my ass._

_What I'm thinking must be written all over my face because Yeongho forces a look of pity. However, he doesn't say anything. Just shrugs his shoulders and walks away._

I shake my head and snap out of it. That is quite literally the last thing I need to be thinking about right now. 

Before I know it, I can feel tears running past my chin into my lap. 

God, this is pathetic. I'm starting to get really tired of this repeated cycle of feeling sorry for myself. I'm not the one who's in the wrong here. 

Without overthinking (or thinking at all) I put my foot on the gas and drive away. Too preoccupied with the idea of running away from my own thoughts to register whether or not Yeongho was still fucking with my car. 

If it 's gonna keep making memories like this resurface, I don't know if I wanna go back to the club. Meeting new people was kind of nice though, especially since I don't really have anymore friends. I'll just have to wait and see what happens I guess. 

🎉 🏆🎉


	14. Let's have a little talk

Uh....shit looking mighty awkward rn y'all. The thing is I'm on Woojin's chapter right now, and I really don't want to scrap it, even though he's not really vital to the main storyline. I'll probably wait a little longer, until things are less fresh or I might change my mind and not post it at all, honestly dont know what to do right now. I know we're all still trying to process and collect the whole story. But in the event I decide to keep the chapter I'll go ahead and put a Woojin warning and I will also be trying to find a way to remove him from the fic as graciously as possible so as not to disrupt the flow of the book. By no means is me keeping or posting his chapter me supporting him. It is very clear that he is a horrible person and I do stand with the victims and ot8 (of course). Personally, as a writer, I hate scrapping work that I'm proud of, so I will try my best to continue in the most respectful way possible. I am considering just keeping what I have and changing his name but no final decisions have been made yet. Please let me know if you have an idea that would be better or if you have an issue with anything I have said, we can have a conversation and I can change my course of action to something more approriate. Let's all give some support to Skz because they definitely need it right now and remember Stays I love you, and things will get better because we make Stray Kids stay!


End file.
